We all have something. Some adversarial negative talk or yearnings or penchant for some sin. Some may seem bigger than others, who am I to judge the size of a sin? No one at all. I’ve had a demon before, it was given me to hold me down. I removed it myself eight years ago. Pulled it right out of my body. It was quite cranky about it. I had to banish it myself, as well. That was one reason why I knew it wasn’t just my imagination. Hard to explain, different frame of mind. In the western secular world the thought of demons as they so blithely seem to speak of them in the Bible seems unheard of. And with psychology and medical science being what they are the DSM-5 is strictly anti-anything related to spiritual affects or blights, unless you have a cultural or tribal association for them. Most of us aren’t allowed that, according to the DSM-5, it’s a mental disturbance that requires medication to ‘make it go away so you look normal.’ However, if you look below the surface Drs will acknowledge that their medications don’t make the ‘delusions’ go away, they just make people not care about them, which is all well and go enough for the DSM-5, mission accomplished. Not that it makes you a productive member of society. However, I digress.
I was in church the other day and sitting in front of me was a family with two boys, a young teenager and a smaller boy of maybe 7. Everyone started out pretty engaged however around the middle of the service I noticed that the younger boy was sitting down, disengaged (no electronic devices, that’s not what I’m getting at), and his brother had tapped him on the shoulder a few times to get him to stand up. He waved him off. The parents allowed him to disconnect from the events around him. He started swaying in his seat, rolling his head around, his parents oblivious or ignoring his behavior. Most people these days don’t think this is ‘odd’ or ‘wrong’, kids get bored, right? Well, I held up my hand toward him and prayed and ‘felt’ like he was distracted by something that didn’t belong in him ~ I’m not a professional, I just prayed over him and imagined him whole. Immediately he stopped rolling his head and stood up, and seemed to stay engaged throughout the service. I was surprised, myself. That was definitely God and not me acting for that child and family, I simply was aware and a rod for God to act through.
How does this relate to my own demon? As I’ve said, I’ve felt like I was under attack. I’m having somatic, abdominal issues for the first time, and a number of things all at once. I’m not a young person, beyond our current reckoning of middle age, so, ya know, this stuff comes up with age, however, so many things at the same time? Gallstones, a kidney stone, enlarged liver, and a bladder infection. I think that my mind may be unbound from it’s ‘disorder’ and now a new attack is happening. Of course, the secular, allopathic medical system doesn’t acknowledge any other causes nor solutions. They are perfectly happy with the course of treatment that I’m under. Nothing to see here, just keep taking your medications and we’ll adjust from time to time when things get a bit wonky. We don’t know why that happens, but it happens. You have been taking your pills, right? Gah. Yes. I take them ‘religiously’. I have always had faith that God could and would cure my ‘insanity’ in His time, not mine. I’m not looking for a cure, I’m looking for God, and I keep asking for greater awareness and wisdom so that I can find God as God wants me to see Him and then the insanity that’s caused by this material world, this false kingdom, the cognitive dissonance that causes me (and others) to see one thing and feel another, creating a discordant insanity that makes our fellows avoid us. And those who are afflicted to self-isolate in loneliness and despair.
I think this demon has given up on my Mind because I belong to God. Jesus is my savior, the Christ, the Messiah, our LORD. And I can say that now. I’ve been reading Luke. Just reading. I’ve heard some of these stories. I’ve read most of the Old Testament (the Hebrew Bible, the Laws and Prophets), so I’ve got an idea about what’s going on there. However, I hadn’t ‘gotten around to’ the Gospels. I figured I had a pretty good idea what they said ~ I did not. Not in the entirety that I should have, would like to have, intend to have, have advertised that I was going to do. I like to have done my research. Not just talk out of my rear end. My mentor or life coach, Lynn, told me to just read the Gospels. And pray, I’m doing that, too. Just saying.
So, since I’ve started reading the Gospels my dog has been waking up barking in the middle of the night, while I’m reading. I live in an apartment so she can’t be doing that. She had rarely done that before and I’m not sure what the problem is and I’m not saying she’s seeing anything, how would I know, however, the consistency and timing is odd?
Now I’ve been working with Alcoholics Anonymous for over two years now. I’m required to attend two 12 step meetings a week, I can go into details later. However, I’d like to affirm that AA is an amazing organization that brings people to God the way that Jesus would approve. People who come to AA and stick with it not only overcome alcohol addiction but in their claim of their higher power find God in a way that churches would envy, Should envy, except that most churches frown on addicts finding their way to God and have little idea about what AA is doing, other than renting space from them. Which is most amusing considering the sort of people that Jesus hung out with (as reported by his followers, since He, Himself, didn’t write anything down as far as we know or have been told). I’ve also taken a look at my own experience with alcohol and I can expand on that at another time, however I know that some philosopher, maybe it was Nietzsche, said that we were all addicted to alcohol by it’s very nature. (Ah, Nietzsche, another rabbit hole of God discussion to redirect me from my point). Alcohol certainly seems like a gift that God may have given to us for the purpose of self-reflection and to show us where we have gotten too big for our own britches and moved away from God. AA would be perfect proof of that. Just read the ‘Big Book’ of AA, (entitled Alcoholics Anonymous to the uninitiated, it took me a while to figure that out). The Big Book (of which they will admit there’s a Bigger Book, aka; the Bible) is pretty amazing in it’s scope, not length. If you’re not a reader, and I presume you are if you’re bothering with my blog, however maybe you know someone who isn’t, there are other resources for digesting the Big Book and I recommend assimilating it in any form as well as reading the 12×12, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (of AA) Ok, I wasn’t going to go off on that here however, I’ve really been impacted by AA, obviously. Even if you don’t think you’re an alcoholic, you can and will find God in an AA meeting even if you haven’t found Him in church.
Back to that demon thing. So, I had that demon from the past and now there seems to be some other looming thing as is implied if one follows Christ you can expect persecution in some form. This is my experience. My family, some friends, the church I used to attend. I’m not looking for a social club, I’m not trying on churches to make sure they align with my political views, I’ve stopped following the news because I’m not interested in what’s going on in the world, I’m interested in God’s plan and my part in it. If the news enters my scope then I take note. Most of what’s going on with the division of the world politics arena is just theater. A distraction from the real consequences of Life choices and This is where I think this demon is distracting me. As you might guess from this blog entry going in all sorts of directions. And maybe I’m having trouble zeroing in on the topic, maybe when I go back to edit before posting I’ll whittle down to make it readable. Or not.
So, it’s time to publish and then pray for some people I know who need to come to Jesus. And ask the LORD to take away this distraction so I can focus on the purpose for this site and the podcast related to it that I haven’t submitted to, yet. I’ll keep you posted. The 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting were pretty intense and powerful, advancing my Walk with Jesus to the point where I can actually admit to being a Christian and follower of Jesus, my LORD and Savior. Wow. Good night
The Life I Have Lived 